Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i came on her dog
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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