I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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