we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
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I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
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Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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