Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
