apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This baby is an asshole
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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