Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
