I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Let's get the cat blown out
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
