He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
