Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize