So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
