At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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