Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
