Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
