Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
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He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
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Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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