Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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