I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
