I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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