when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
