Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
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