i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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