What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
