this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
