where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
