Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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