If i come over, it means nothing
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
