he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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