if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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