I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize