Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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