it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
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I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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