I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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