jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
nutella sex= disaster
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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