high people should be assigned attendants
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
