i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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