well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
