You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
