i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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