Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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