Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize