I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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