and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
