My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
no, he came in my armpit
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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