Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You were trust falling into bushes
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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