She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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