I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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