idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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