"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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