so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
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I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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