cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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