i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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