You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Yo dont text me then not text me
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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