woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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