he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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