He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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