they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
