just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
