i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
