He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
