is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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