I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
