I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
