Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
